Sunday, 19 October 2014

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

First there was the radio series, then came the books and then in 1981 the BBC television people finally realised that they really should get in on this intergalactic guidebook lark and turn it into a series. 

For the most part they kept to the cast of the earlier radio play although both Ford Prefect (David Dixon for Geoffrey McGivern) and Trillion (Sandra Dickinson for Susan Sheridan) were recast.

It tells, as I'm sure you know, the story of Arthur Dent (Simon Jones) who, on the day the local council decide to demolish his house in order to build a bypass, discovers that not only is his friend Ford an alien from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse but that the Earth is also about to be destroyed in order to make way for a hyperspace bypass.

Instead of the little lie down he thinks he needs, Arthur finds himself rescued from the doomed Earth and catapaulted across space and time.  Along the way he discovers the importance of towels, visits numerous planets and meets a whole host of people of various sizes, shapes, colours and configurations including a very nice girl that he had previously failed to get off with, the ex-Galactic President; the two headed, three armed hedonistic semi-cousin of Ford's called Zaphod Beeblebrox (Mark Wing-Davey), Marvin, a clinically depressed robot (Stephen Moore), a man with an unimportant name who designs fjords (Richard Vernon), the manifestations of a race of hyperintelligent pan-dimensional beings on an aeon long search for the Ultimate Question about life, the universe and everything and the officious and deeply unpleasant Vogons; all of which he does with a fish that disproves the existence of God in his ear.


To help him better understand where he's ended up Ford gives Arthur a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy an electronic and somewhat eccentric book (voiced by Peter Jones) which, via little animated entries, provides him with snippets of information about the galaxy.



I was a bit too young to catch the radio play so this series was my first exposure to the glory that is Hitchhiker's and it's still my favourite of them all.  From the cast and the acting, through the animation and Paddy Kingsland's incidental music to the wonderful and inventive script, I love it all.

Buy it here - The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Special Edition [DVD] [2018] - or watch it below













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Thursday, 16 October 2014

Thomas Carnacki: The Gateway of the Monster

William Hope Hodgson

This is an audio version of one of my favourite of Hodgon's 9 Carnacki stories, read by Ian Hodgson (of Moon Wiring Club) with (fabulous) music by Jon Brooks (of The Advisory Circle) and can be heard and downloaded - for free - as part of the Weird Tales for Winter series curated by Jonny Mugwump.

Carnacki was an Edwardian era supernatural investigator who appeasred in 9 short stories in the early 20th century.  This particular story concerns a haunted room which Carnacki is engaged to investigate.  He unwisely spends two nights in the room. On both occasions being attacked by a giant spectral hand from which he only narrowly escapes.

For those unfamiliar with the joys of Carnacki this will be a fun first encounter and for those in the know this will provide an enjoyable re-acquaintance.

Above and beyond the words though is the frankly astounding incidental music from Jon Brooks.  Here he has produced a set of steampunk radiophonics utilising contemporary instruments such as the harpsichord to produce music that is both utterly at home in the story and deliciously and decidedly creepy.

part 1
part 2
the music

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

A Study in Emerald

Neil Gaiman

Now this is one of my favourite things. I first came across this in my copy of Fragile Things but the version here is the audiobook read by Gaiman.

The story re-imagines the Holmes universe in line with a Lovecraftian setting whereby the old ones have returned and have dominion over humanity. The story finds a returning soldier (from Afghanistan) take up lodgings with a 'consulting detective'. He becomes the detective's companion and they are soon embroiled in the investigation of a death of a member of the Bohemian royal family.

The story borrows strongly, liberally and enjoyably from the Holmes mythos to produce a tale that is a ridiculous amount of fun.

I'm having to go out of my way to avoid giving anything at all away here so you'll please excuse if this review is brief but because Mr. Gaiman is a gent the story is available as a free pdf here (which for extra geek points looks just like that image at the top of this post) or as a pay for downloadable audio from here -

http://www.neilgaiman.com/works/Audio/A+Study+in+Emerald/



Sunday, 12 October 2014

The Tripods

The Tripods - Will, Henry and Beanpole
The Tripods is a 1984 adaptation of the first two novels in John Christopher's series of novels, 'The Tripods'.  It tells the story of a world ruled by the 'Masters' in their huge metal three legged walking machines (the Tripods) and the adventures of the three young men who rebel against their 'capping'  - the method by which the Masters assert their control over the populace - and travel across the UK and France to join the free men in the 'White Mountains'.

The first series of 13 episodes tells of Will (John Shackley) and his cousin Henry (Jim Baker) who for fear of losing their independence as a result of the capping flee their English village home after meeting a 'vagrant' who tells them of the free men in the White Mountains of France.  Along the way they are helped by another young man Jean-Paul or Beanpole (Ceri Seel) who then travels with them to their destination.

The second series follows Will's exploits within the city of the Masters as he attempts to gather information that will help to defeat them.

Tripod machine from The TripodsWith the third series never coming to fruition the show ends on a somewhat anti-climactic note but don't let that put you off.  The Tripods is a lovely piece of 1980s British sci fi television.  Like other sci fi serials of the time (Day of the Triffids, Quatermass) it's qualities belay the stylistic and technological drawbacks of the era that hit other series so hard (Doctor Who).  The Tripods themselves are reasonably accomplished, as are the Masters and their city.  Some of the acting from the predominantly young cast is a little naive but improves over the course of the two series. There are moments where things get a little bogged down - their stay in the chateau goes on for far too long - but there are other times where you wish they'd lingered longer - the devastated remains of Paris - but the show gains kudos for remaining pretty close to it's source material and providing a cohesive and focused narrative over the course of so many episodes.

I'm not able to embed the video but you can watch the series here...
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1uz4ov
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Saturday, 11 October 2014

Hawkwind

Formed in 1969 and still very active today (in a number of incarnations) Hawkwind are and always have been a band that polarised opinion.  For some they are the quintessential underground band; the weirdest of the weirdos riding a psychedelicised riff as far into space as it can possibly take them.  For others they are the quintessential underground band; the weirdest of the weirdos riding a psychedelicised riff as far into space as it can possibly take them but for some reason those people think that's somehow a bad thing. 

They are the sci-fi fixated hippy space rockers who fused the power of the riff with the freedom of the jam, drenched it all in that new fangled electronic wibbling that suddenly became available towards the tail end of the 1960's and then filtered the whole thing through a cocktail of psychedelics.

Since they formed in Ladbroke Grove in London by Dave Brock, Mick Slattery, John Harrison, Terry Ollis, Nick Turner and Dik Mik the band have had a revolving door of members over the years.  Indeed so many different musicians have passed through the band that the list of Hawkwind members has it's own Wikipedia page - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Hawkwind_band_members

Theirs is a singular story.  There has never been another band like them. Through their almost 50 year existence they have been embraced by hippies, metallers, punks, crusties and ravers whilst seemingly ignoring them all and continuing to tirelessly walk their own unique path.  They are the ultimate peoples band equally at home playing in a concert hall as they are playing in a Somerset field whilst the sun rises over them.

Here is a fabulous BBC documentary from 2007 called 'Hawkwind: Do Not Panic' that traces the history of the band and features interviews with all the main players with one crucial exception.



Missing from the doc - due to ongoing friction between various members - is Dave Brock the only original member of the band still in the line-up.  So, in order to provide some sort balance here's a long interview with him talking about the history of the group.



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If you enjoy what we do here on Wyrd Britain and would like to help us continue then we would very much welcome a donation towards keeping the blog going - paypal.me/wyrdbritain

Friday, 10 October 2014

The Devil's Piper

Susan Price
Puffin Books

I've seen Susan Price's name a lot over the years as my partner is a fan of her series of 'Ghost World' novels. They've never appealed to me but when I saw the beautiful cover art (by Errol le Cain) of the Puffin edition of her first novel I had to have a read.


Written when she was just 16, 'The Devil's Piper' tells of the arrival of a leprechaun (or 'luchorpan' in the story) named Toole O'Dyna into a small village in the North of England after it awakes from a 200 year sleep. Upon waking O'Dyna wastes no time in consolidating his magic by acquiring an entourage of followers and in making itself at home by reshaping the environment before embarking on a revenge two centuries in the making.


It's a fabulous read. Price, even at the tender age of 16, has a magnificent written voice. Her storytelling is compact and sinuous, her characters are real and behave in ways that are entirely believable even when performing the most fantastical actions and the way she illustrates her narrative with clear and imaginative details (such as her description of Miss Jenns' first trip out with her camera) makes each page a joy.


This is a book that ought to be read by everyone with an interest in folklore or British rural horror as it is dripping with inventive authenticity and a real sense of both place and time and is written with wit, intelligence and artistry.

Thursday, 9 October 2014

BBC Radiophonic Workshop - Out Of This World

(LPBBC25250)
LP
As an LP this re-released collection of sound effects conjured up by the wizards at the BBC Radiophonic Workshop is perhaps a little less satisfying than the wonderful Doctor Who album I reviewed recently but that is simply due to track lengths.  

The pieces here range in time from the briefest at 3 seconds to a mammoth prog inspired 1 minute 22 seconds.  In themselves they are the most wonderful cavalcade of joyously fantastical sounds but as an album it is more than a little bitty.

Truthfully though, how could you ever go wrong with an album containing track titles like, 'Andromedan War Machine', Magic Beanstalk Grows', 'Two Terror Twangs' & 'Three Terror Bangs' made by people called Brian, Delia & Glynis (amongst others)?


Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Doctor Who: Shada

Douglas Adams & Gareth Roberts
BBC Books

Inside this book is another book - the strangest, most important and most dangerous book in the entire universe.
"The Worshipful and Ancient Law of Gallifrey" is one of the Artefacts, dating from dark days of Rassilon. It wields enormous power, and it must not be allowed to fall into the wrong hands.
Skagra - who believes he should be God and permits himself only two smiles per day - most definitely has the wrong hands.
Beware Skagra. Beware the Sphere. Beware Shada.

Back in 1979/80 a strike at the BBC meant that the Douglas Adams penned Doctor Who story, Shada, never got completed.  A few scenes were shot but after the stoppage the team decided not to go back and finish it.  a small scene from it was used to cover Tom Baker's refusal to appear in the 5 Doctors and in 1992 it was released in a truly dreadful version with linking commentary from Baker.  Both BIg Finish and Ian Levine have made versions - audio (featuring the 8th Doctor) and animated - but both are really rather poor.

This one however is rather fantastic.  This is Gareth Roberts, a Who regular, novelising Adams' script for the episode, much of which Adams reworked into the first Dirk Gently novel.

Here Professor Chronotis is a retired Time Lord at the end of his regenerations who has opted to spend the remainder of his existence surrounded by his books in the anonymity of Cambridge academia.  Into this idyllic dotage comes the Doctor and Romana, answering a distress call that Chronotis doesn't remember sending, and also Skagra, a petulant young man with designs on godhood for which he needs one of Chronotis' books which will allow him access to the Time Lord prison of Shada and the key to success in his plan.

It is a rollicking good read.  Funny and pacey and typically Adams.  Kudos to Roberts as he kept himself as quiet as possible, which can't have been easy.  There's a joke in Gallifreyan and a frankly horrendous (and wonderful) Latin pun so tremendous that whoever thought of it ought to be both pilloried for it and fed cakes by the nubiles of their choice.

I absolutely loved this book.

Buy it here -  Doctor Who: Shada

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

The Burton & Swinburne series

Mark Hodder
Snowbooks 

A fantastically detailed and imaginative steampunk world very much within the tradition of British authors of the scientifically weird and wonderful such as Michael Moorcock.


Burton & Swinburne in The Strange Affair of Spring-Heeled Jack
It is 1861, and Albertian Britain is in the grip of conflicting forces. Engineers transform the landscape with bigger, faster, noisier and dirtier technological wonders; Eugenicists develop specialist animals to provide unpaid labour; Libertines oppose restrictive and unjust laws and flood the country with propaganda demanding a society based on beauty and creativity; while The Rakes push the boundaries of human behaviour to the limits with magic, sexuality, drugs and anarchy. Returning from his failed expedition to find the source of the Nile, explorer, linguist, scholar and swordsman Sir Richard Francis Burton finds himself sucked into the perilous depths of this moral and ethical vacuum when the Prime Minister, Lord Palmerston, employs him as 'King's Spy.' His first mission: to investigate the sexual assaults committed by a weird apparition known as Spring Heeled Jack; to find out why chimney sweeps are being kidnapped by half-man, half-dog creatures; and to discover the whereabouts of his badly injured former friend, John Hanning Speke. Accompanied by the diminutive and pain-loving poet, Algernon Swinburne, Burton's investigations lead him back to one of the defining events of the age: the brutal assassination of Queen Victoria in 1840; and the terrifying possibility that the world he inhabits shouldn't exist at all. 

Quite frankly this novel turned out to be one of the best books it's been my pleasure to read in a very long time. For his debut novel Hodder takes that heaviest-weight of 19th century adventurers, Richard Burton, partners him with an obscure and largely unsung poet, Algernon Swinburne, and weaves them into a riveting romp through an irrevocably altered Victorian (now Albertian) period. The catalyst for this change and the unorthodox partnership is the mysterious Spring-Heeled Jack whose mythos has been seamlessly interwoven into the narrative.

Burton is a dynamo of energy and it's surprising that he has not been utilised more in fiction of this kind in the past. His real life adventures are audition enough to make his adoption of his role in the narrative utterly plausible. Swinburne's very obscurity for the reader (or at least this reader) allows him the opportunity to become anything Hodder desires of him.
The partnership are assigned a new role of secret investigators for the King in this brave new world of rampant technological and biological advances. Some of which are maybe a little too major for the sort of timelines hinted at but it all goes to serve the tale so I don't really care too much.

As a villain Jack offers much and the seamless way in which Hodder has woven the folktales surrounding this Victorian enigma into the story is an absolute joy. His presence augmented by the maniacal villainy of some other familiar historical faces whose fates, like Burton and Swinburne, have been irrevocably changed by this interloper.

As I said earlier, it's been a while since I enjoyed a book as much as this and that this is a debut novel is nothing short of astonishing. The recommendation on the front from Michael Moorcock (saying pretty much the same as I did in that last sentence) is very apt as it is he that is most brought to mind in Hodder's writing, the characters almost ooze a Moorcockian presence and solidity that enables them to utterly exist within the storyworld no matter how deranged. This is Hodder's baby though and he does have a voice that is very much his own and is both engaging and compulsive. He takes no shortcuts and never leaves the the reader to flounder in unnecessary world-building, wool gathering or naval gazing. The plot is tight, the characters well rounded and engaging and the setting is one I wish to visit again and again.


Burton & Swinburne in the Curious Case of the Clockwork Man
It is 1862, though not the 1862 it should be...
Time has been altered, and Sir Richard Francis Burton, the king’s agent, is one of the few people who know that the world is now careening along a very different course from that which Destiny intended.
When a clockwork-powered man of brass is found abandoned in Trafalgar Square, Burton and his assistant, the wayward poet Algernon Swinburne, find themselves on the trail of the stolen Garnier Collection—black diamonds rumored to be fragments of the Lemurian Eye of Naga, a meteorite that fell to Earth in prehistoric times.
Can the king’s agent expose a plot that threatens to rip the British Empire apart, leading to an international conflict the like of which the world has never seen? And what part does the clockwork man have to play?

 
The first of these Burton & Swinburne books was one of my highlights of last year.  This one has set the bar terrifically high for this one.
Chronologically there's only a small gap between the two but mention is made of a few other cases i n the interim.  This story is based around the story of the Tichborne affair - a real life court case regarding a claim to the Tichborne fortune.  In this version however it is the Rakes (dandy anarchists) faction, under the sway of some ghostly woman, who are attempting to replace the missing heir as part of their wider plan.  Their claim is blatantly fraudulent yet for some reason people, including Swinburne, are falling for it hook line and sinker. It soon becomes evident that this is linked with the theft of some black diamonds that Burton was investigating earlier.

As the popularity of the monstrous Tichborne claimant spreads among the working classes of London things start to look decidedly violent and grim.

I really like the way Hodder easily juggles a large cast most of whom have some basis in real Victorian life.  Easily my favourite addition to the roster this time off is the philosopher Herbert ('Survival of the Fittest') Spencer.  I'm so glad he's staying on board for the duration as he was a delight as a character.

Gripping and enthralling throughout with an ending both satisfying and intriguing. I am so very glad that there was a sequel to Spring-Heeled Jack but also that there's another in the sequence due later this year.


Burton & Swinburne in Expedition to the Mountains of the Moon
It is 1863, but not the one it should be. Time has veered wildly off course, and now the first moves are being made that will lead to a devastating world war and the fall of the British Empire.
The prime minister, Lord Palmerston, believes that by using the three Eyes of Naga—black diamonds possessing unique properties—he’ll be able to manipulate events and avoid the war. He already has two of the stones, but the third is hidden somewhere in the Mountains of the Moon, the fabled source of the Nile.
Palmerston sends Sir Richard Francis Burton to recover it. For the king’s agent, it’s a chance to redeem himself after his previous failed attempt to find the source of the great river. That occasion had led to betrayal by his partner, John Hanning Speke. Now Speke is leading a rival expedition on behalf of the Germans, and it seems that the battle between the former friends may ignite the very war that Palmerston is trying to avoid!
Caught in a tangled web of cause, effect, and inevitability, little does Burton realize that the stakes are far higher than even he suspects.
A final confrontation comes in the mist-shrouded Mountains of the Moon, in war- torn Africa of 1914, and in Green Park, London, where, in the year 1840, Burton must face the man responsible for altering time: Spring Heeled Jack!

Burton and Swinburne’s third adventure is filled with eccentric steam-driven technology, grotesque characters, and bizarre events, completing the three-volume story arc begun in The Strange Affair of Spring Heeled Jack and The Curious Case of the Clockwork Man.

 
 The third chronicle in the adventures of the explorer Richard Burton and poet Algernon Swinburne.  This follows on from almost immediately from the second volume where the defeat of the Russian interlopers and the acquisition of the second of the Naga diamonds has prompted / necessitated a return to Africa and the area of the source of the Nile in order to find the third diamond.

In this the two, along with their phalanx of friends are opposed by Burton's rival John Speke and the Prussians who are both supporting him and eugenicists.
The story unfolds in three different time frames; the present time of the expedition, in 1914 some 20/30 years after Burton's death in an Africa devastated by a terrible war that the British have lost to the rampaging plant and animals of the Prussians and in a 3rd time that I'm going to avoid discussing.

For me the book didn't sing as loudly or as clearly as the previous two.  It was, like the expedition, a bit of a slog in parts.  It never let up the pace and was quite fantastic for pretty much it's entirety but I adored the others and so this one even though it fell short of that level of love was still head and shoulders above most of the stuff I read to get me through the day.

I'm not sorry if this is the end of the series - even if the end was a little odd.  It's been a trip and I very much look forward to where Hodder goes next.

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(As it happens since I wrote these reviews a little while back I've discovered that this was not the end of the series and another has been published since with a fifth on it's way.  Once I've found the time (and the cash) to read them I'll get back to you.)

Sunday, 5 October 2014

The Last Train

Wyrd Britain reviews 'The Last Train'.
The Last Train is a British post-apocalypse TV series first shown in 1999.  It tells the story of a disparate and argumentative group of people who survive a devastating meteor strike through being lucky enough to share a train carriage with a scientist carrying a cannister of cryogenic gas.

They wake years later to find a destroyed world seemingly devoid of human life.  Reluctantly following the advice of the scientist, Harriet Ambrose (Nicola Walker) they travel across this hostile environment looking for 'The Ark' where her fellow scientists were holed up, sleeping through the end of the world.  Along the way they encounter various inhabitants of this very different Britain including a pregnant teenager - Hild (Caroline Carver) - on the run from her people - who travels with them.

Along with the scientist the group consists of the standard assortment of TV stereotypes; a dodgy geezer (Treva Etienne as Mick), a copper (Christopher Fulford as Ian), a cowardly businessman (Steve Huison as Colin), a woman escaping an abusive husband (Amita Dhiri as Jandra), a cute and perky kid (Dinita Gohil as Anita), a very, very, very annoying teenager (Sacha Dhawan as Leo), a handyman (James Hazeldine as Austin), a pregnant woman (Zoe Telford as Roe) and a matronly neurotic (Janet Dale as Jean).

For the most part the series is a bit of a bomb.  Almost every character is deeply unlikable - Colin and Leo in particular - so ultimately it's hard to care about them, there's some truly desperate acting and a script that is fairly pedestrian.  I do however love these post-apocalypse romps and this one had a bit of a budget so looks quite nice and with only a few minor detours - was the boar hunt really worth the episode time spent on it? - keeps it's head down and moves resolutely towards it's climax and so it holds a small spot in my affections.

Enjoy.


Episode 2
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Saturday, 4 October 2014

Bibliophilia

Here are two videos filmed by R.B. Russell of Tartarus Press. If you have a love of the work of either of the gentlemen involved, classics (and otherwise) of weird or supernatural fiction, books in general or you just like watching engaging films made by and featuring people talking about their particular passions then please pull up a chair.

 First is the very lovely Mark Valentine giving a tour of his enviable collection of books of the weird and the supernatural.




and here is Ray himself talking about his book collecting.

Classroom Projects

JBH049CD
CD
This newer Trunk Records release of music by children lacks the sheer gonzo insanity that made it's precursor on the label - 'Music For Children' by Carl Orff & Gunild Keetman - such an amazing and compulsive listen but has much to recommend it in it's own right.

Collated from a variety of recordings made by school children between 1959 and 1981 it features folk songs, experimental oddities and a version of 'Bright Eyes'.  For me the definite highlights are the moments of avant-garde wonderfulness scattered throughout the album courtesy of a music education book and album by the name of 'Sound & Silence' such as  'The Lyke Wake Dirge' (see below) but there are many moments of simply sublime music littered across the album, and a version of 'Bright Eyes'.

I was in primary and secondary school through the 1970s (indeed, the year of the latest recording here is the year I started senior (comprehensive) school) and so this sort of free and rather bucolic approach to musical education brings back some strange memories and raises some odd feelings (even though the songs we sung in school were in Welsh).

It is a wonderful selection of tracks that manages to hold that sense of wistful nostalgia whilst also remaining vital and entertaining even on a version of 'Bright Eyes'.








Friday, 3 October 2014

Doctor Who Novellas

Between 2001 and 2004 Telos Publishing were granted permission by the BBC to produce a series of hardback Doctor Who novellas.  They went on to produce 15 of them in two different formats - standard hardback and deluxe hardback - the latter of which included both an illustrated frontispiece and the autographs of the author, the illustrator and the writer of the books' foreword..

The novellas tend to be written with a more adult, and maybe even a more literate, audience than the more readily available mass market Who books but this is still Who after all so most authors have placed fun over literary gymnastics.

The series is very out of print but copies are readily available on eBay.

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Kim Newman – Time and Relative

This is the first of a short series of novellas published before the relaunch and featuring Doctors one through eight.

The series starts off with a tale concerning the first that directly precedes the ‘Unearthly Child’ storyline. This tale pits a confused and lonely Susan and a small gaggle of schoolmates against an elemental from Earth’s past called ‘The Cold’ that has decided it wants its home back from all these pesky human things.

Grandfather is uninterested in helping. In fact he thinks ‘The Cold’ has a very good case. It’s not till the end that Susan manages to ignite in him the spark of helping (or ‘meddling’ as he refers to it).
It’s written as a diary (Susan’s) which usually makes me squirm but Newman is skillful enough to make it work in this short format.


Dave Stone – Citadel of Dreams
Dave Stone is a 2000AD writer and novelist. I’m sure I’ve read a few things by him but as I rarely used to look at the credits on comics I can’t know for sure. The one thing I definitely remember was a Judge Dredd novel called ‘Deathmasques’. It was a fun and slightly risqué read for a Dredd story.

This is the first of his Doctor Who novels I’ve read. I must admit to being slightly disappointed. It’s a 7th Doctor & Ace story and he’s one of the Doctors I know least so I’m kinda dark on his character.
The storyline here is more than a little confused. For the most part it felt like style over substance. There is hardly any character development and the resolution is garbled and deeply unsatisfying. The only thing in its favour is that Stone is an personable writer but truthfully not enough to raise this out of the doldrums.


Tom Arden – Nightdreamers

Now this was an odd little affair. The story revolves around the second Doctor & Jo being forced to land on a moon with gravity so odd that people swim through the air.

It’s a feudal-ish society in conflict with its neighbouring planet from whom they had exiled themselves and also with another group / race / whatever called ‘The Darklings’. On top of this there’s some sort of trickster thing running around for no apparent reason and everyone important is going mad.

Into this mess drops the Doctor who karate chops is way to the truth of the matter whilst Jo fights off the amorous advances of a drugged prince.

Essentially it was a right bloody mess but for all its many, many flaws I quite enjoyed the ride. It was after all only 100 pages and was a giggle for an evening.


Keith Topping – Ghost Ship

I was quite looking forward to this one. A fourth Doctor adventure with no companion cluttering things up. It turned out to be fairly disappointing. The ending and the set-up and the characters were all pretty solid but the Doctor himself was all over the place.

For me this is the Doctor most at home amongst the weird. He’s the one I’d expect to thrive on a ship full of ghosts and instead he spends most of it running around in terror. It just didn’t sit right with me all the way up to the very unsatisfying ending that grew out of the genuinely nasty undercurrent that runs through the story.



Andrew Cartmel – Foreign Devils

This was the book that caught my eye and alerted me to the existence of the Telos books and it pleases me to be able to report it was a real corker of a read.

Cartmel was the script editor that was trying to revitalise the TV series just as it was being cancelled. Here he takes a break from the Seventh Doctor and tries his hand at the Second.

The Doctor, Zoe and Jamie find themselves in 1800 in China where an opium smuggler named Roderick Upcott has just found himself cursed by the court astrologer and discovered he was warming his bum on a box containing the slowly roasting remains of one of his customers.Via a spirit gate Zoe & Jamie are catapulted to 1900 England with the Doctor following in his usual manner. There, at a party held by Upcott’s well-healed descendant, they find murder, intrigue and a kindred spirit in the form of Thomas Carnacki the ghost hunter created by William Hope Hodgson.

The Doctor and Carnacki with Zoe in tow (Jamie sits this one out unconscious in the greenhouse) investigate each murder in turn, finding one to be not so supernatural in origin, before the curse reveals itself in both the possession of Carnacki’s girlfriend and the resurrected corpse of Roderick Upcott. It really was a cracking romp with a decidedly dirty mind – one of the Upcott’s liking to shag the maids with the butler watching from behind an two-way mirror.

In addition, there was a back-up story from the original Carnacki stories called ‘The Whistling Room’ which was odd and a bit creepy in a slightly dated and stilted way but a good way to end a cracking read.


Louise Cooper – Rip Tide

This is an Eighth Doctor adventure set in a Cornish seaside fishing town. A young girl, Nina, doesn’t like the attention a stranger named Ruth is paying her brother and the strange floppy haired jelly baby wielding man is up to something too. Nina investigates and finds a new world of strange men with mind bending police boxes and alien tourists stuck on Earth too frightened to return home.

I’m glad this was only a novella. I think it would have got on my nerves if it had gone on any longer but it wasn’t a bad read. A little vague and wet (and Nina was massively irritating) but enjoyable enough.


Mark Chadbourn - Wonderland

I've been saving this one for a time when I had a Who craving but not much time to spare. This is the last of the Telos Doctor Who novellas that I have here. They were, on the whole, a pretty enjoyable set of romps being a different, more adult, odd and creepy set of tales than is usually the case.

Wonderland is a second Doctor story that fins him, along with Been & Polly wandering around San Francisco's Haight Ashbury at the height of its hippy fame. Two different things - which inevitably prove to be the same thing - are happening here. The Doctor is receiving strange visitations that detail former foes whilst a young hippy girl - our narrator - is searching, often with Ben & Polly's help, for her missing boyfriend.

It's a little unfocused and the ending was both a bit sleazy and unsatisfying but Chadbourn has constructed a fairly interesting take that probably needed a lot more room and a little more development to tell properly.


Simon Forward – Shellshock

This is the first thing I’ve ever read featuring the Sixth Doctor. I disliked him immensely at the time and have yet to go back to revisit the character so there’s a lot of negativity in my head about him.

The story finds him and Peri landed on a floating wreck on a waterworld. Peri goes off snorkeling while the Doctor does some fishing. Unfortunately a little cyborg crab thingy takes it on itself to dynamite the wreck, sinking the TARDIS and casting the two travellers adrift.

The Doctor winds up on a beach populated by a shellshocked soldier and more of the crabs. Other dangerous crabs turn up and invade the beach until the Doctor, the soldier and the (friendly) crabs escape and find their way to the research station where Peri has become absorbed into a sponge thing.

Throughout, the Doctor is a pompous arsehole but he does seem to care. This was an odd but strangely enjoyable read.


Daniel O’Mahony – The Cabinet of Light

This one of this lovely run of novellas features an un-identified Doctor possibly travelling alone or possibly with a young woman called Emily Blandish who is amnesiac in the book.

In post war London a spiv / fixer called Lechasseur is asked to search for a man called The Doctor. His search for this enigma leads him to various odd and unusual characters including the aforementioned Emily.

This was a thoroughly enjoyable ride. Very much rocking the Raymond Chandler vibe and finding a good level of pulp dynamism and Doctor Who silliness.



Jonathan Blum & Kate Orman - Fallen Gods

Easily my least favourite of these Telos novellas. It was over written in a frankly annoying style that seemed more concerned affectation over substance. 


The story puts the 8th Doctor in ancient Greece teaching a local girl how to fly in order for her to combat the fiery 'Bulls' that are being sent against them, as it transpires, by the 'Gods' in the mountain.

It was a tedious and pretentious read that buried it's ideas in lumpen prose and inept ostentation. A shame as this has been a pretty solid series so far.


Tara Samms – Frayed

This pseudonymous novella was massive amounts of fun.

The story seems to be the first meeting between the First Doctor and Susan with humans. It also gives a possible, if maybe slightly unsatisfying, origin of the pairs names.

Beingn then First though he is yet to become the genial fixer that the name implies and is more inclined to sod off than he is to help.

The staff of a remote re-education facility for children whose genes indicate they may grow up with hostile tendencies. The facility is under siege from fox like creatures. Also one of the patients has developed psychic abilities and is reaching out to the only member of the staff that was nice and creating a fake world in order to entice him.

It was a quick and easy read but that doesn’t detract from how enjoyable it was.


Paul McAuley – Eye of the Tyger

I really like Eighth Doctor books / stories as there was only ever the one official appearance writers have carte-blanche to play with the character. They’ve give him a variety of personalities but here he is a slightly arrogant but deeply caring and adventurous Doctor determinedly trying to rescue and cure a man who has, due to his own hubris, been infected by a nano-virus that is turning him into an tiger-man.

On their way to a future hospital for the cure they are sidetracked by a huge colony ship trapped on the edge of a black hole. There, the Doctor finds a rebellion to stop, the tiger finds love to make and the colonists some new planets.

It was bright, breezy and readable with little real meat but I enjoyed this one.


Robert Perry & Mike Tucker – Companion Piece

A short – 100 pages – but entertaining little read pitting the Seventh Doctor and a unique companion called ‘Cat’ (Catherine) who to my knowledge has only ever been in this one story.

The pair appear on a small back-world looking for a new bag for the Doctor after Cat loses his after helping them escape from some nasty robot spiders. The planet is part of the new Catholic Church and the Doctor is soon arrested by the Inquisition as a witch. After recruiting some kindly help Cat is also captured and the pair are ferried off to Rome.

There are some real plot holes here and it could have really done with another 100 or so pages to run its course more satisfactorily. It was a fun Sunday evening read though.


Iain McLaughlin – Blood & Hope

This is the first time the Fifth Doctor has appeared in this series which does surprise me somewhat. He, Peri and Erimen visit the Wild West only to immediately become separated with the Doctor helping out the Union army whilst Peri and the black Egyptian Erimen are trapped behind Confederate lines with a ‘crazy evil’ colonel.

The book is all told through letter extracts which, due partly to the relatively short book length, didn’t become tiresome. That the book was also quite engagingly written also helped obviously.

Probably more so than any other Telos novella this read like an episode of the TV show (except for the killing at the end) and I enjoyed it very much.



Simon Clark – The Dalek Factor

This, the fifteenth and final Telos novella was written by the guy who wrote a sequel to Day of the Triffids a few years ago and here he’s continued the theme with a story set on a world of killer flora and fauna...and Daleks.

The Doctor is not identified but definitely isn’t the First and his request, whilst amnesiac, to be called Professor leads one towards the Seventh but who knows.

It was enigmatic and fun, lots of fun in fact. It was very light but also very ‘Who’; particularly very modern ‘Who’. I could imagine the showdown featuring the Tenth, all it needed was the word ‘Sorry’ a lot.


 

Thursday, 2 October 2014

The Art of Penguin Science Fiction

If ever there was a website that brings the pretty then it's this little labour of love.

I find myself going back to this website again and again.  Sometimes I just want to look at the covers other times I'm after something specific.  The amount of work and knowledge put into it is just staggering and I am truly in awe of the author(s).

As I'm sure is the case for many people reading these witterings the artwork of the Penguin science fiction range are things of utter beauty and adorned many of the books that defined my tastes over the years. So, to find them all in one place is magnificent.

Hope you enjoy wandering around this site as much as I have.

http://www.penguinsciencefiction.org/

(BTW - in case you don't spot it (I didn't) click the book marked 'contents' in the top left corner of the images for a helpful guide around the site)







Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Professor Moriarty: The Hound of the D’Urbervilles


Imagine the twisted evil twins of Holmes and Watson and you have the dangerous duo of Prof. James Moriarty - wily, snake-like, fiercely intelligent, unpredictable - and Colonel Sebastian 'Basher' Moran - violent, politically incorrect, debauched. Together they run London crime, owning police and criminals alike. Unravelling mysteries -- all for their own gain.

I’d been waiting to read this since I read Newman's fantastic 'Anno Dracula' last year.  It turned out I had already read a chapter from it on the BBC Cult Holmes site (see below).  It was a story about Irene Adler getting one over on Moriarty and Moran and I really dug it.  I remember thinking at the time that I could have done with more of the same.  Turns out there’s a book full.  

Like the Holmes stories this is told via the companion, in this case Sebastian Moran and his move from trouble making Colonel to right hand man to the Napoleon of crime.  The stories themselves are pastiches / homages of the Holmes (and others) tales such as Baskerville / D’Uberville and the Red Headed League / Red Planet League, the latter being my favourite part of the book as it was beautifully done.

Watson was a bit maligned but then again Moran maligns everyone and is hardly a reliable narrator.  Moriarty is utterly despicable and irredeemably conceited; his contempt for Holmes after they meet is palpable.  I thoroughly enjoyed this book.  Newman is pretty ensconced these days as one of my favourite authors and this was a glorious read.

Buy it here - Professor Moriarty: The Hound of the DUrbervilles (Professor Moriarty Novels)
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If you'd like to read the chapter I mentioned above - A Shambles in Belgravia - then you can do so at this link -  http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/sherlock/shamblesinbelgravia1.shtml