Friday, 3 October 2014

Doctor Who Novellas

Between 2001 and 2004 Telos Publishing were granted permission by the BBC to produce a series of hardback Doctor Who novellas.  They went on to produce 15 of them in two different formats - standard hardback and deluxe hardback - the latter of which included both an illustrated frontispiece and the autographs of the author, the illustrator and the writer of the books' foreword..

The novellas tend to be written with a more adult, and maybe even a more literate, audience than the more readily available mass market Who books but this is still Who after all so most authors have placed fun over literary gymnastics.

The series is very out of print but copies are readily available on eBay.

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Kim Newman – Time and Relative

This is the first of a short series of novellas published before the relaunch and featuring Doctors one through eight.

The series starts off with a tale concerning the first that directly precedes the ‘Unearthly Child’ storyline. This tale pits a confused and lonely Susan and a small gaggle of schoolmates against an elemental from Earth’s past called ‘The Cold’ that has decided it wants its home back from all these pesky human things.

Grandfather is uninterested in helping. In fact he thinks ‘The Cold’ has a very good case. It’s not till the end that Susan manages to ignite in him the spark of helping (or ‘meddling’ as he refers to it).
It’s written as a diary (Susan’s) which usually makes me squirm but Newman is skillful enough to make it work in this short format.


Dave Stone – Citadel of Dreams
Dave Stone is a 2000AD writer and novelist. I’m sure I’ve read a few things by him but as I rarely used to look at the credits on comics I can’t know for sure. The one thing I definitely remember was a Judge Dredd novel called ‘Deathmasques’. It was a fun and slightly risqué read for a Dredd story.

This is the first of his Doctor Who novels I’ve read. I must admit to being slightly disappointed. It’s a 7th Doctor & Ace story and he’s one of the Doctors I know least so I’m kinda dark on his character.
The storyline here is more than a little confused. For the most part it felt like style over substance. There is hardly any character development and the resolution is garbled and deeply unsatisfying. The only thing in its favour is that Stone is an personable writer but truthfully not enough to raise this out of the doldrums.


Tom Arden – Nightdreamers

Now this was an odd little affair. The story revolves around the second Doctor & Jo being forced to land on a moon with gravity so odd that people swim through the air.

It’s a feudal-ish society in conflict with its neighbouring planet from whom they had exiled themselves and also with another group / race / whatever called ‘The Darklings’. On top of this there’s some sort of trickster thing running around for no apparent reason and everyone important is going mad.

Into this mess drops the Doctor who karate chops is way to the truth of the matter whilst Jo fights off the amorous advances of a drugged prince.

Essentially it was a right bloody mess but for all its many, many flaws I quite enjoyed the ride. It was after all only 100 pages and was a giggle for an evening.


Keith Topping – Ghost Ship

I was quite looking forward to this one. A fourth Doctor adventure with no companion cluttering things up. It turned out to be fairly disappointing. The ending and the set-up and the characters were all pretty solid but the Doctor himself was all over the place.

For me this is the Doctor most at home amongst the weird. He’s the one I’d expect to thrive on a ship full of ghosts and instead he spends most of it running around in terror. It just didn’t sit right with me all the way up to the very unsatisfying ending that grew out of the genuinely nasty undercurrent that runs through the story.



Andrew Cartmel – Foreign Devils

This was the book that caught my eye and alerted me to the existence of the Telos books and it pleases me to be able to report it was a real corker of a read.

Cartmel was the script editor that was trying to revitalise the TV series just as it was being cancelled. Here he takes a break from the Seventh Doctor and tries his hand at the Second.

The Doctor, Zoe and Jamie find themselves in 1800 in China where an opium smuggler named Roderick Upcott has just found himself cursed by the court astrologer and discovered he was warming his bum on a box containing the slowly roasting remains of one of his customers.Via a spirit gate Zoe & Jamie are catapulted to 1900 England with the Doctor following in his usual manner. There, at a party held by Upcott’s well-healed descendant, they find murder, intrigue and a kindred spirit in the form of Thomas Carnacki the ghost hunter created by William Hope Hodgson.

The Doctor and Carnacki with Zoe in tow (Jamie sits this one out unconscious in the greenhouse) investigate each murder in turn, finding one to be not so supernatural in origin, before the curse reveals itself in both the possession of Carnacki’s girlfriend and the resurrected corpse of Roderick Upcott. It really was a cracking romp with a decidedly dirty mind – one of the Upcott’s liking to shag the maids with the butler watching from behind an two-way mirror.

In addition, there was a back-up story from the original Carnacki stories called ‘The Whistling Room’ which was odd and a bit creepy in a slightly dated and stilted way but a good way to end a cracking read.


Louise Cooper – Rip Tide

This is an Eighth Doctor adventure set in a Cornish seaside fishing town. A young girl, Nina, doesn’t like the attention a stranger named Ruth is paying her brother and the strange floppy haired jelly baby wielding man is up to something too. Nina investigates and finds a new world of strange men with mind bending police boxes and alien tourists stuck on Earth too frightened to return home.

I’m glad this was only a novella. I think it would have got on my nerves if it had gone on any longer but it wasn’t a bad read. A little vague and wet (and Nina was massively irritating) but enjoyable enough.


Mark Chadbourn - Wonderland

I've been saving this one for a time when I had a Who craving but not much time to spare. This is the last of the Telos Doctor Who novellas that I have here. They were, on the whole, a pretty enjoyable set of romps being a different, more adult, odd and creepy set of tales than is usually the case.

Wonderland is a second Doctor story that fins him, along with Been & Polly wandering around San Francisco's Haight Ashbury at the height of its hippy fame. Two different things - which inevitably prove to be the same thing - are happening here. The Doctor is receiving strange visitations that detail former foes whilst a young hippy girl - our narrator - is searching, often with Ben & Polly's help, for her missing boyfriend.

It's a little unfocused and the ending was both a bit sleazy and unsatisfying but Chadbourn has constructed a fairly interesting take that probably needed a lot more room and a little more development to tell properly.


Simon Forward – Shellshock

This is the first thing I’ve ever read featuring the Sixth Doctor. I disliked him immensely at the time and have yet to go back to revisit the character so there’s a lot of negativity in my head about him.

The story finds him and Peri landed on a floating wreck on a waterworld. Peri goes off snorkeling while the Doctor does some fishing. Unfortunately a little cyborg crab thingy takes it on itself to dynamite the wreck, sinking the TARDIS and casting the two travellers adrift.

The Doctor winds up on a beach populated by a shellshocked soldier and more of the crabs. Other dangerous crabs turn up and invade the beach until the Doctor, the soldier and the (friendly) crabs escape and find their way to the research station where Peri has become absorbed into a sponge thing.

Throughout, the Doctor is a pompous arsehole but he does seem to care. This was an odd but strangely enjoyable read.


Daniel O’Mahony – The Cabinet of Light

This one of this lovely run of novellas features an un-identified Doctor possibly travelling alone or possibly with a young woman called Emily Blandish who is amnesiac in the book.

In post war London a spiv / fixer called Lechasseur is asked to search for a man called The Doctor. His search for this enigma leads him to various odd and unusual characters including the aforementioned Emily.

This was a thoroughly enjoyable ride. Very much rocking the Raymond Chandler vibe and finding a good level of pulp dynamism and Doctor Who silliness.



Jonathan Blum & Kate Orman - Fallen Gods

Easily my least favourite of these Telos novellas. It was over written in a frankly annoying style that seemed more concerned affectation over substance. 


The story puts the 8th Doctor in ancient Greece teaching a local girl how to fly in order for her to combat the fiery 'Bulls' that are being sent against them, as it transpires, by the 'Gods' in the mountain.

It was a tedious and pretentious read that buried it's ideas in lumpen prose and inept ostentation. A shame as this has been a pretty solid series so far.


Tara Samms – Frayed

This pseudonymous novella was massive amounts of fun.

The story seems to be the first meeting between the First Doctor and Susan with humans. It also gives a possible, if maybe slightly unsatisfying, origin of the pairs names.

Beingn then First though he is yet to become the genial fixer that the name implies and is more inclined to sod off than he is to help.

The staff of a remote re-education facility for children whose genes indicate they may grow up with hostile tendencies. The facility is under siege from fox like creatures. Also one of the patients has developed psychic abilities and is reaching out to the only member of the staff that was nice and creating a fake world in order to entice him.

It was a quick and easy read but that doesn’t detract from how enjoyable it was.


Paul McAuley – Eye of the Tyger

I really like Eighth Doctor books / stories as there was only ever the one official appearance writers have carte-blanche to play with the character. They’ve give him a variety of personalities but here he is a slightly arrogant but deeply caring and adventurous Doctor determinedly trying to rescue and cure a man who has, due to his own hubris, been infected by a nano-virus that is turning him into an tiger-man.

On their way to a future hospital for the cure they are sidetracked by a huge colony ship trapped on the edge of a black hole. There, the Doctor finds a rebellion to stop, the tiger finds love to make and the colonists some new planets.

It was bright, breezy and readable with little real meat but I enjoyed this one.


Robert Perry & Mike Tucker – Companion Piece

A short – 100 pages – but entertaining little read pitting the Seventh Doctor and a unique companion called ‘Cat’ (Catherine) who to my knowledge has only ever been in this one story.

The pair appear on a small back-world looking for a new bag for the Doctor after Cat loses his after helping them escape from some nasty robot spiders. The planet is part of the new Catholic Church and the Doctor is soon arrested by the Inquisition as a witch. After recruiting some kindly help Cat is also captured and the pair are ferried off to Rome.

There are some real plot holes here and it could have really done with another 100 or so pages to run its course more satisfactorily. It was a fun Sunday evening read though.


Iain McLaughlin – Blood & Hope

This is the first time the Fifth Doctor has appeared in this series which does surprise me somewhat. He, Peri and Erimen visit the Wild West only to immediately become separated with the Doctor helping out the Union army whilst Peri and the black Egyptian Erimen are trapped behind Confederate lines with a ‘crazy evil’ colonel.

The book is all told through letter extracts which, due partly to the relatively short book length, didn’t become tiresome. That the book was also quite engagingly written also helped obviously.

Probably more so than any other Telos novella this read like an episode of the TV show (except for the killing at the end) and I enjoyed it very much.



Simon Clark – The Dalek Factor

This, the fifteenth and final Telos novella was written by the guy who wrote a sequel to Day of the Triffids a few years ago and here he’s continued the theme with a story set on a world of killer flora and fauna...and Daleks.

The Doctor is not identified but definitely isn’t the First and his request, whilst amnesiac, to be called Professor leads one towards the Seventh but who knows.

It was enigmatic and fun, lots of fun in fact. It was very light but also very ‘Who’; particularly very modern ‘Who’. I could imagine the showdown featuring the Tenth, all it needed was the word ‘Sorry’ a lot.


 

Thursday, 2 October 2014

The Art of Penguin Science Fiction

If ever there was a website that brings the pretty then it's this little labour of love.

I find myself going back to this website again and again.  Sometimes I just want to look at the covers other times I'm after something specific.  The amount of work and knowledge put into it is just staggering and I am truly in awe of the author(s).

As I'm sure is the case for many people reading these witterings the artwork of the Penguin science fiction range are things of utter beauty and adorned many of the books that defined my tastes over the years. So, to find them all in one place is magnificent.

Hope you enjoy wandering around this site as much as I have.

http://www.penguinsciencefiction.org/

(BTW - in case you don't spot it (I didn't) click the book marked 'contents' in the top left corner of the images for a helpful guide around the site)







Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Professor Moriarty: The Hound of the D’Urbervilles


Imagine the twisted evil twins of Holmes and Watson and you have the dangerous duo of Prof. James Moriarty - wily, snake-like, fiercely intelligent, unpredictable - and Colonel Sebastian 'Basher' Moran - violent, politically incorrect, debauched. Together they run London crime, owning police and criminals alike. Unravelling mysteries -- all for their own gain.

I’d been waiting to read this since I read Newman's fantastic 'Anno Dracula' last year.  It turned out I had already read a chapter from it on the BBC Cult Holmes site (see below).  It was a story about Irene Adler getting one over on Moriarty and Moran and I really dug it.  I remember thinking at the time that I could have done with more of the same.  Turns out there’s a book full.  

Like the Holmes stories this is told via the companion, in this case Sebastian Moran and his move from trouble making Colonel to right hand man to the Napoleon of crime.  The stories themselves are pastiches / homages of the Holmes (and others) tales such as Baskerville / D’Uberville and the Red Headed League / Red Planet League, the latter being my favourite part of the book as it was beautifully done.

Watson was a bit maligned but then again Moran maligns everyone and is hardly a reliable narrator.  Moriarty is utterly despicable and irredeemably conceited; his contempt for Holmes after they meet is palpable.  I thoroughly enjoyed this book.  Newman is pretty ensconced these days as one of my favourite authors and this was a glorious read.

Buy it here - Professor Moriarty: The Hound of the DUrbervilles (Professor Moriarty Novels)
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If you'd like to read the chapter I mentioned above - A Shambles in Belgravia - then you can do so at this link -  http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/sherlock/shamblesinbelgravia1.shtml

Sunday, 28 September 2014

Lifeforce (1985)

Bit of a guilty pleasure this one and I'm sure that some of you are now twitching at it's inclusion on a page about British weirdness.  Yes, American director (Tobe Hooper), American screenwriter (Dan O'Bannon) and American finance (Cannon Films) but based in Britain, filmed in Britain with a predominantly British cast and based on a British Book (The Space Vampires by Colin Wilson) and, well, it's just got the right vibe.  For my money this has always felt almost like a homage to the Quatermass movies, the spectre of Nigel Kneale is hovering over the whole thing.

Space Shuttle 'Churchill' (see, British) is on a mission to investigate Halley's Comet but discovers a spaceship within it's tail and brings the three humanoid life forms they find on  board, one woman (Mathilda May) and two men (Bill Malin & Chris (brother of Mick) Jagger), back to Earth.  The three soon wake and proceed to suck the 'lifeforce' out of everyone they come into contact with and beam that energy back to their ship whilst completely ignoring prevailing societal conventions regarding the wearing of clothing.

Battling against them are sole survivor of the Churchill, Colonel Tom Carlsen (Steve Railsback) and the SAS colonel sent to investigate, Colin Caine (Peter Firth). Patrick Stewart in one of his last pre-superstardom roles also makes an appearance.

Lifeforce is in no way a particularly great (or even good) film but, for me at least, it's got that certain something that keeps me coming back for more.

Buy it here - Lifeforce - or watch it below


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If you enjoy what we do here on Wyrd Britain and would like to help us continue then we would very much welcome a donation towards keeping the blog going - paypal.me/wyrdbritain


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Friday, 26 September 2014

Twins of Evil

This, the third instalment of Hammer's Karnstein Trilogy, is a film that I have adored since before I first saw it. I was already a fan having read the House of Hammer comic adaption by Chris Lowder and Blas Gallego in the early eighties in an 'annual' called 'Dracula's Spinechillers' - the Twins of  Evil strip can be downloaded as a PDF from Alison Nastasi's site here - and absolutely loving it.  When I finally saw the movie it was everything I had hoped for.  Peter Cushing in full vampire slaying mode, debonair and despicable vampires and typically for Hammer at the time beautiful young ladies ripe for defiling.

Predating the two earlier Karnstein movies, Twins of Evil tells of the arrival in the town of Karnstein of orphaned twin sisters Maria (Mary Collinson) and Frieda (Madeleine Collinson) sent to live with their Uncle Gustav (Peter Cushing).  Unfortunately for the twins the town is plagued by two evils, Gustav and his zealous, puritan, witch-hunting 'Brotherhood' and the lascivious then vampiric actions of Count Karnstein (Damien Thomas). There is though the distraction of dashing school teacher Anton Hoffer (David Warbeck).

Cushing is at his fire and brimstone best here playing somewhat against type as a deeply unpleasant man who has been consumed by his beliefs and who can no longer see goodness in the world and refuses to accept anything other than his own 'truths'.  Thomas plays his Count Karnstein as louche and arrogant; brash and overconfident in his taunting of Cushing's Brotherhood, contemptible in his search for vampiric immortality, his callous disregard for others and his corruption of Frieda.  Neither of the Collinson twins display great acting ability but (with a few notable exceptions) this was never a key requirement for Hammer's early 70s leading ladies.

There are, of course, far better made, far better written and far better acted Hammer films but I just really love this one.  It's fast, overblown and fun and is one of a few films I can rely on to entertain me when nothing else is doing the trick. 

Buy it here - Twins of Evil [Blu-ray] - or watch it below.



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If you enjoy what we do here on Wyrd Britain and would like to help us continue then we would very much appreciate a donation towards keeping the blog going - paypal.me/wyrdbritain

Wednesday, 24 September 2014

Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons

Gerry and Sylvia Anderson's Century 21 Productions were responsible for producing a whole host of marionette science fiction adventures through the 1960s; Fireball XL5, Stingray, Thunderbirds, Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons, Joe 90 and The Secret Service.  Whilst Thunderbirds is arguably the best remembered of these it is Captain Scarlet which holds the place in my heart.

The Captain works for an organisation called Spectrum that is based out of a hovering headquarters called Cloudbase crewed mostly by people holding the rank of captain and who are conveniently named after the colours of their clothes - Captains Scarlet, Blue, Black, Ochre, Magenta and Grey.  They have one superior - Colonel White and one subordinate - Lieutenant Green.  Working alongside them are the five pilots of the Angel Interceptors called Harmony Angel, Melody Angel, Rhapsody Angel, Symphony Angel and, strangely, Destiny Angel whose odd one out name makes her sound like the last one standing from another Interceptor squadron that something really bad happened to.

The villains of the piece are the Mysterons (voiced by Donald Gray), a sentient computer society who Captain Black (also Donald Gray) mistakenly blows up thinking they are hostile.  Vowing eternal revenge the Mysterons transmute Captain Black into their agent, giving him a five o' clock shadow and a vaguely sweaty complexion in the process - seriously who could resist a sweaty puppet with stubble - and use him to exact their revenge.

One of the first victims is Cary Grant soundalike Captain Scarlet (Francis Matthews) who has been assigned by Colonel White (Donald Gray again) to protect the World President.  As a result of the Mysteron's shenanigans the good Captain is murdered, resurrected as a Mysteron agent, killed again and then resurrects as his old self but with the added bonus of now being indestructible and all in the course of a 30 minute first episode.

As far as a show made with puppets who aren't heavy enough to walk properly and can't go through doors because of the strings  this is the most filmic of the Gerry Anderson series. I always found Thunderbirds to be more than a little smug with their private island and their massive rockets hoarding their advanced technology in order to 'help' people instead of making the technology more widely available so that folks will have rescue equipment to hand and not have to wait for some rich kid in a big green frog rocket to turn up.  You get none of that sort of nonsense with Captain Scarlet.  This is all about the action and explosions and cool chicks with code names flying rockets and shiny rubber caps with drop down microphones and the shooty shooty and the booming VOICE OF THE MYSTERONS! 

Buy it here - Captain Scarlet The Complete Collection [DVD] - or watch it below

Spectrum is green!



And please remember it's not just marionation, it's supermarionation.

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If you enjoy what we do here on Wyrd Britain and would like to help us continue then we would very much welcome a donation towards keeping the blog going - paypal.me/wyrdbritain

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

The stamps of Wyrd Britain

I was browsing through one of the piles of books next to my chair the other day and found a stamp that my partner's aunt had sent to me; the David Tennant one from the Doctor Who set that the Royal Mail released for the 50th Anniversary.  I've no particular interest in stamps but it got me thinking about other commemorative ranges that would fit in with the Wyrd Britain ethos.

Here are some of the ones I found (they're in no particular order). I think some of them are quite wonderful and please if you know of any others then feel free to add them to the comments.

50th Anniversary of Children's Television
Folklore
Magical Worlds

Classic Carry On and Hammer films
British Fairs
Children's TV Classics
Doctor Who
Europa, Horror Stories
FAB The Genius of Gerry Anderson
Magical Realms
Mythical Creatures (drawn by Dave McKean)
Harry Potter House Crests
Roald Dahl
Science Fiction, Novels by H.G. Wells
Lord of the Rings
Sherlock Holmes
Thomas the Tank Engine
World of Comics